5/1/2013: RESPECT is a word the Batiri hardly ever speaks. Nearly one year ago Delirious took us under his wing, created an army and taught us all about RESPECT…RESPECT is something earned, for example, through leadership. Delirious has earned our RESPECT by forging an unstoppable machine of CHAOS & DESTRUCTION. He RESPECTS us and we return our RESPECT. We were carefully selected, unlike our opponents this Friday North Carolina.
Wink is a leader we have few opinions on, for he doesn’t meddle in our affairs, but he clearly has no RESPECT for the groups he creates. We know he knows no RESPECT for his stables, because we’ve defeated ALL OF THEM. The Swarm, The New Colony, The Extreme Colony, 3.Akuma, New F.I.S.T… why would the Ice Cream Colony be any different?
We hate ants. We hate the original three ants, the Green one that will soon be Grand Champion, the Blue Ant that climbed over the border fence, & the three new ants from Wink’s Ant Farm. The Old Colony always had our number, but not these new remixed Colonies. Not in Indiana, not in Ohio, not in Florida…well, except that GREEN One, but that’s why I’m willing to bet Mystery Bag #700 (available now at TheBatiri.com) he’s the next Grand Champion!
We RESPECT Fire Ant for the battles he has raged with us. But we hate him. We RESPECT the Blue Ant, because he has beat the Young Lion and won his banana. But we hate him even more than the red one! However, we do NOT RESPECT Los Ice Creams. Los Ice Creams are stupid, human-created, processed-foods-based braggarts who recite stories of their father’s fame. And now, teaming with the Colony…? Now it seems even you two will become…SOFT SERVED! Los Ice Creams are the WORST tag team of all time. The world laughs at you two bungling idiots. We hate you more than we hate ants.
Why has Wink teamed you two, The Colony and Los Ice Creams together? Because you sell the most t-shirts. This is an effort to cash in by Wink. You might have sold more T-SHIRTS than us, but, in the ring, you’ll never be as VICIOUS as us! Everytime The Batiri go to the “South,” someone ends up seriously hurt. Soldier Ant’s nose was broken by us in North Carolina. Frightmare’s skull was fractured in Alabama by the DEMON’S TOILET! Brutality is synonymous with the “South” in the same way brutality is synonymous with The Batiri. Who are we to break tradition? Mark my words…this weekend, someone will ONCE AGAIN be put in the EMERGENCY ROOM!
WE are the most disturbing, gruesome and brutal faction in wrestling today. Singly, tag team, trios, four-o’s or five-o’s…WE are the most gross! There is no disputing it! We prove it everytime we step into the ring…by this time next week we will have beaten yet another Wink-created faction, The Batiri will be Campeones de Parejas, and I will have FLUSHED the Pharaoh ONCE AND FOR ALL! The world will soon fear us, but they will also RESPECT us.
The Prince of ALL Goblins,