This past weekend, while delivering a directive to Soldier Ant in Easton, I fear my words were covered up when a rude, vocal minority of the crowd conspired to shout a smattering of jeers as I spoke, presumably intended for Yours Truly. With the considerable power I wield (in this case: the Pen,) I will now squash their noise, effectively deleting their voices so the true CHIKARA fans can hear me clearly. It is important that I not be misheard or misquoted.
I can only assume this vocal minority thought I would be further “disgracing” or “insulting” Soldier Ant with regards to his membership in The Swarm, which, in their short-sighted view at least, was some sort of misstep in my decision-making process. Well, my friends, allow your fears to be silenced by the man in charge!
I’ve heard your displeasure with Soldier Ant being teamed with deviANT, and I’ve seen Soldier Ant presenting himself as a “Prisoner of War.” I’ve seen it all and I understand. I am nothing if not a compassionate Director. Soldier Ant is sick and tired of following orders, and I get that. Maybe it’s time for him to start giving the orders? I think so.
That’s why, next month in Tampa, using the vast power and resources at my disposal, I intend to install Soldier Ant in a position of leadership! That’s right, fans, I’m giving you just what you asked for: Soldier Ant will soon be leading a team of my choosing! Yes, this team will be hand-picked (cherry-picked, even!) by ol’ Wink, perfectly suiting what I see as Soldier Ant’s very specific set of leadership skills. In my capacity as Director, I understand that you must not only service the demands of the marketplace, but you must also listen closely to the heartbeat of the fanbase. As I said on Sunday, Soldier, we’re going to sell a lot of t-shirts, you and me!
It’s an all ant battle when Fire Ant & assailANT take on Soldier Ant & deviANT at “All The Agents and Superhuman Crew” at the Season Premiere. You know the deal here; Wink Vavasseur took CHIKARA’s ants and mis-matched them together like so psychopathic Frankenstein or something. While Soldier Ant and deviANT have no interest whatsoever in getting along, Fire Ant and assailANT seem to finally be a cohesive unit. Problem here is that Fire Ant and Soldier Ant, regardless of being forced to be on opposite sides of the ledger, have no issues with each other. In fact, they would still be teaming if they were able to call the shots. Will they be willing to work against each other in this contest? Can assailANT get vengeance from “Under The Hood” where deviANT pinned him?
12/21/2012: Mr. Vavasseur, these words are for you, so pin your ears back.
Your new version of The Swarm isn’t what it is set out to be. There’s one problem plain and simple: SOLDIER ANT. Anyone that saw “Under The Hood” - or any recent CHIKARA event - will tell you as much.
When I was teamed with partners that shared my ambition, like combatANT or The Shard or most recently Jigsaw, it was evident to the world…we accomplish whatever we set out to do! And it’s one thing to be held back, and another thing to have your talent denied.
It was I who yanked off the defeatist Green Ant’s mask, when teamed with the classic Swarm!
It was I who pinned the deranged Mike Quackenbush, when teamed with The Shard!
It was I who attained the pinfall at the season finale iPay-Per-View, when teamed with The Shard and Jigsaw! NotSoldier Ant!
Well, he might have been standing in our corner of the ring, but I assure you Wink, one Soldier was M.I.A. at “Under The Hood.”
Your CHIKARAbermetrics system proves that we can dominate all. It is a mathematical certainty…when everyone follows orders. YOU SAID we would be (and I quote,) “the strongest trio of ants,” but we didn’t win King of Trios back in September. We were eliminated in the opening round!
How much longer will you allow him to flaunt his disobedience of you? Soldier Ant is screwing everything up and it isn’t fair that others have to overcompensate as a result. I should be Young Lions Cup champ at the very least, if not a Campeon and a King of Trios. But Soldier Ant just doesn’t respect your leadership, Wink. And every time he fails to work as a member of a team, he is mocking your authority. His constant disobedience and disrespect…I don’t know how you can take the constant humiliation from Soldier Ant.
A crazy eight man has been signed for “Under The Hood.” How did we get to this point?
Back in February, a rogue group known as GEKIDO invaded CHIKARA. We later learned that the GEKIDO consisted of five “outcasts” who felt never got a deserved shot in the company. Instead of coming in as their true selves, the decided to don gimmicks parodying those in CHIKARA. The leader, 17, was the parallel to Mike Quackenbush. The Shard was an obvious play off of Jigsaw, while three men known as The Swarm (assailANT, combatANT & deviANT) mocked the Colony. These five men wreaked havoc on CHIKARA, ending careers and injuring Mike Quackenbush and Fire Ant in the process. Quackenbush has been on a tear, vowing to eliminate the members of GEKIDO and to show potential future invaders that their attacks will not be tolerated. So, Quackenbush decided he was going to rid of the GEKIDO one by one.
At the same time, Wink Vavasseur decided to “shake things up” and mismatched The Swarm with The Colony greating two distinct Ant trios. Soldier Ant was thrown in with combatANT and deviANT. He never got along with them, nor did he ever want to. assailANT however was put with Fire Ant and Green Ant and from the get-go wanted to be a team player. Although Fire Ant and Green Ant at first were not pleased with this trade, they have seemed more willing to play along with the unit reshuffling as of late. This change up has not deterred Quackenbush from his goal. Since August, he has injured 17 and combatANT to the point where they have not been in a CHIKARA ring since. His partner, Jigsaw, has been fed up with Quackenbush’s behavior. He feels Quackenbush’s blind rage has subsided his goal for him and Jigsaw to recapture Los Campeonatos de Parejas. Fed up with Quackenbush’s behavior, Jigsaw superkicked him at “The Cibernetico Rises” and left with GEKIDO member The Shard. Now, the remaining members of this war are on opposite sides in an Atomicos bout. How exactly will these teams work out? Quackenbush has had great success in teaming with The Colony before, but he will not be pleased to team with assailANT who technically is still aligned with the GEKIDO. He never wanted to fight Jigaw, but after that superkick he may feel he has to teach his pupil a lesson. Will Soldier Ant be willing to fight his own partners and trainer? It will be very interesting to see how these eight interact with each other on December 2nd.