Tim Donst’s debut theme music? “Born to Run.” What a boss.
It hurts my heart that Soldier Ant is so dejected/shunned/bullied these days. DAMN YOU WINK, YOU’RE A TRUE VILLAIN!
It’s not bad enough that Soldier Ant is being forced to captain a team of three unknown partners, but now he has to face his fellow Tecnicos? Not to mention Fire Ant, the man who he has won a Tag World Grand Prix, Los Campeonatos de Parejas and King of Trios with. The only thing we can hypothesize, aside from who will team with Soldier, will how he will treat assailANT. Fire Ant seems to have accepted him, can Soldier Ant throw him a bone too, or is he still angry at being “replaced” by the Big Blue Bruiser?
(As the days go by, I get curiouser and curiouser as to who Soldier Ant’s mystery team will be. Any guesses?)
Wink Vavasseur stated in a blog last Friday that Soldier Ant would no longer be a member of the Swarm and would instead be heading up a team of his choosing. By his, of course, I mean Wink - not Soldier Ant. So he’s not back in the Colony, nor does he get to pick his partners, so really no one is happy at the moment. Although we’re unsure as to who Soldier Ant will be teaming with at “The Watchmaker” on March 9th in Orlando, FL, we do know that he will be facing the Batiri quartet of Ophidian, Obariyon, Kodama, and Kobald. Will Soldier Ant be able to rally his troops and gain a victory, or will the well-oiled Batiri machine start Wink’s newest experiment before it gets started?
This past weekend, while delivering a directive to Soldier Ant in Easton, I fear my words were covered up when a rude, vocal minority of the crowd conspired to shout a smattering of jeers as I spoke, presumably intended for Yours Truly. With the considerable power I wield (in this case: the Pen,) I will now squash their noise, effectively deleting their voices so the true CHIKARA fans can hear me clearly. It is important that I not be misheard or misquoted.
I can only assume this vocal minority thought I would be further “disgracing” or “insulting” Soldier Ant with regards to his membership in The Swarm, which, in their short-sighted view at least, was some sort of misstep in my decision-making process. Well, my friends, allow your fears to be silenced by the man in charge!
I’ve heard your displeasure with Soldier Ant being teamed with deviANT, and I’ve seen Soldier Ant presenting himself as a “Prisoner of War.” I’ve seen it all and I understand. I am nothing if not a compassionate Director. Soldier Ant is sick and tired of following orders, and I get that. Maybe it’s time for him to start giving the orders? I think so.
That’s why, next month in Tampa, using the vast power and resources at my disposal, I intend to install Soldier Ant in a position of leadership! That’s right, fans, I’m giving you just what you asked for: Soldier Ant will soon be leading a team of my choosing! Yes, this team will be hand-picked (cherry-picked, even!) by ol’ Wink, perfectly suiting what I see as Soldier Ant’s very specific set of leadership skills. In my capacity as Director, I understand that you must not only service the demands of the marketplace, but you must also listen closely to the heartbeat of the fanbase. As I said on Sunday, Soldier, we’re going to sell a lot of t-shirts, you and me!
In conclusion, CHIKARA fans, you’re welcome.
Johnny Gargano and Chuck Taylor getting it in, by Gregory Davis
From our new CHIKARA: Zelda The Great gallery on dirtydirtysheets.com.
It’s an all ant battle when Fire Ant & assailANT take on Soldier Ant & deviANT at “All The Agents and Superhuman Crew” at the Season Premiere. You know the deal here; Wink Vavasseur took CHIKARA’s ants and mis-matched them together like so psychopathic Frankenstein or something. While Soldier Ant and deviANT have no interest whatsoever in getting along, Fire Ant and assailANT seem to finally be a cohesive unit. Problem here is that Fire Ant and Soldier Ant, regardless of being forced to be on opposite sides of the ledger, have no issues with each other. In fact, they would still be teaming if they were able to call the shots. Will they be willing to work against each other in this contest? Can assailANT get vengeance from “Under The Hood” where deviANT pinned him?